Does a person really ever outgrow their childhood fears? I'm going to say "no" based on the feeling I had this afternoon when the tornado sirens started sounding off in our neigborhood. I know I am the adult now and am supposed to protect my baby, but I have to be honest. I called home multiple times for reassurance when the pine trees in our backyard looked like they might snap in two! So Logan and I neatly tucked ourselves in the coat closet under the front stairs to wait out the storm (note to self...that must be cleaned out ASAP). I was definitely more scared than my little man. Some things never change...thunderstoms terrified me as a kid. I can remember thinking that lightning could get me inside the house through the windows. So at night during storms when the lightning would get bad, I'd crawl to my parent's room on my stomack to make sure the lightning couldn't find me through the window! I guess I've matured a little past that point, but not much : ) Luckily, the worst of the storms passed north of us and we were able to leave our safe haven in the closet after about 15 minutes.
I've been wanting to figure out how to add music to this blog, and finally I figured it out this afternoon. So Logan and I had our own little private dance party/concert while I searched for songs that make me think of Logan and our family. I knew there was this one song that I had to find...the new version of "Somewhere over the Rainbow" sung by a guy with a ukelele. I've heard the song numerous times...once a a friend's wedding. She walked down the aisle to it, and I just thought it was beautiful. So today, I found that song and looked up the lyrics. At 28, I think the title of the song is still the only words I could actually sing...I don't know any others. As I listened and read the words, I couldn't hold back the tears. Some days it's just unstoppable. I think I "go go go" sometimes, just living in the moment, doing what has to be done. But every now and then, I think about the past or the future and it makes me kind of sad. Some things just trigger the emotions. About six months ago I bought one of those Baby Rock Lullaby cds by the Beatles. It is a great cd, and I know Olin welcomed it after six months of Lullaby Magic (our first cd). But there is something about that Beatles cd that I cannot listen to anymore. Maybe it's because I listened to it a lot after we got Logan's diagnosis...I'm not sure. Anyways, I guess a good cry is necessary sometimes, and what better day than today with this wet weather.
"Somewhere over the Rainbow"...gives me goosebumps
Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
And the dreams that you dreamed of
Once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow
Blue birds fly
And the dreams that you dreamed of
Dreams really do come true ooh ooooh
Someday I'll wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney tops thats where you'll find me oh
Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly
And the dream that you dare to,why, oh why can't I?
Well I see trees of green and
Red roses too,
I'll watch them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world
Well I see skies of blue and I see clouds of white
And the brightness of day
I like the dark and I think to myself
What a wonderful world
The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people passing by
I see friends shaking hands
Saying, "How do you do?"
They're really saying, I...I love you
I hear babies cry and I watch them grow,
They'll learn much more
Than we'll know
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world
Someday I'll wish upon a star,
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney top that's where you'll find me
Oh, Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
And the dream that you dare to, why, oh why can't I?
Monday, February 28, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
"All Nighters" Aren't What They Used to Be
Is it Friday yet? Almost! Even with Monday as a holiday (teacher workday for me), this week has gone on forever. Maybe that's partly due to the "all nighter" that Logan pulled on Tuesday. I am so serious when I say that he was still awake from the night before when I left for work Wednesday morning! We still can't figure out what it was...he's still got some of the congestion from the ear infection, but I can't imagine how that would've kept him up all night! Olin claims that I clipped his fingernails too short, and I say that he made his bath water too hot. I thinkg we were looking for something/someone to blame at one o'clock in the morning. At one point (3:30-4:30) we just put him in the Jumperoo and let him bounce around while we closed our eyes. I kept watching the hours pass and get closer to 5:00 (when my alarm goes off). I really wanted to cry when it finally did! Logan's babysitter was so sweet the next day though. She offered to keep him for the night so that we could get some rest! We didn't take her up on the offer that night, but I said we would if he pulled this again on Wednesday. Luckily, he didn't, and my eyes opened to full capacity this morning.
The suppositories and enemas continue to be a highlight at the Arnold house. Enemas are always on bath nights so tonight was a lucky night. I regret always talking about poop, but it's a top priority these days : ) Funny thing happened tonight though (caution...the following story is a bit graphic). Olin (God Bless him for being the enema inserter) had done the procedure, and we were waiting patiently for the results. It was taking longer than we expected so we had kind of relaxed. But then...all of the sudden...Logan shot out a poop like a rocket ship. I swear it went a foot in the air. I've never seen Olin react to anything more quickly in my life. He jumped back so fast that he almost knocked me over. I was rolling on the floor! It was like a poisonous snake was about to bite him or something...they way he got out of its way : ) It still makes me laugh to think about it.
Therapy is continuing to go well. Logan practiced holding two little balls in each hand and knocking them together. It's hard for him to do something different with each hand. He usually drops one of the balls and tries to put the other in his mouth. I posted a few videos so you can see what he's working on. I was so excited to watch him open and close the little animal pop up toy. He's beginning to understand cause and effect which is really fun to watch. I'm so antsy for him to start scooching and inch worming. I know he's not going to be like 15 years old and still unable to crawl, but sometimes it feels like it will never happen. Patience, patience, patience, I know.
I couldn't be more grateful for the weekend. Even though it will mostly be spent doing school work, Grumps and ZuZu are visiting on Saturday morning. I thinking about trying to steal a nap while they're here!
The suppositories and enemas continue to be a highlight at the Arnold house. Enemas are always on bath nights so tonight was a lucky night. I regret always talking about poop, but it's a top priority these days : ) Funny thing happened tonight though (caution...the following story is a bit graphic). Olin (God Bless him for being the enema inserter) had done the procedure, and we were waiting patiently for the results. It was taking longer than we expected so we had kind of relaxed. But then...all of the sudden...Logan shot out a poop like a rocket ship. I swear it went a foot in the air. I've never seen Olin react to anything more quickly in my life. He jumped back so fast that he almost knocked me over. I was rolling on the floor! It was like a poisonous snake was about to bite him or something...they way he got out of its way : ) It still makes me laugh to think about it.
Therapy is continuing to go well. Logan practiced holding two little balls in each hand and knocking them together. It's hard for him to do something different with each hand. He usually drops one of the balls and tries to put the other in his mouth. I posted a few videos so you can see what he's working on. I was so excited to watch him open and close the little animal pop up toy. He's beginning to understand cause and effect which is really fun to watch. I'm so antsy for him to start scooching and inch worming. I know he's not going to be like 15 years old and still unable to crawl, but sometimes it feels like it will never happen. Patience, patience, patience, I know.
I couldn't be more grateful for the weekend. Even though it will mostly be spent doing school work, Grumps and ZuZu are visiting on Saturday morning. I thinking about trying to steal a nap while they're here!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
It Will Be Like Brushing Our Teeth - Well, Sort Of
Logan had a day of doctor appointments on Thursday. First stop was his 12 month (now 13 month) check up. Our usual pediatrician wasn't working, but I said we'd see anyone since I'd already taken the day off of work for something else. We ended up seeing our original pediatrician from this group. When Logan was born, I didn't feel like this guy took me seriously when I went in there, so we changed to another doctor within the same practice. I'll never forget this doctor saying after one of our first visits, "Looks like a normal kid to me." I wonder what he thinks now.
Unfortunately, Logan's ear infection was back from a couple of weeks ago. The doctor prescribed a little stronger medicine so hopefully it will clear up quickly and make him less congested. Poor baby cannot breathe through his nose. Thank goodness he doesn't mind the blue snot sucker thing. In fact, he laughs when we do it. I don't know many kids who do that! The doctor had me panicking for a moment though. After the nurse pricked his toe to test his iron level, the doctor returned and asked if Logan had been sick recently because his white blood cell count was high. Immediately, I thought of my dear friend whose mother-in-law was just diagnosed with leukemia. It all started with her counts high. Thankfully, his white blood cells were elevated because of the ear infection. I think my stomach turned upside down for a moment though.
The little (well, not so little) man weighed in at 22 lb. 2 oz. This was the 50%tile. He measured 29.5 inches (25-50%tile). This is good news...the PT doesn't want his height and weight to be more than a 25% difference. Unfortunately, because of the ear infection, they would not give Logan his shots. I guess that means another visit next week!
After that fun appointment, Logan actually came home and took an hour nap! Just long enough to fold some clothes and grade some papers. Then we were off to meet Olin at the pediatric surgeon's office for our consultation about his "pull through" surgery. We went prepared...with a list of about 20 questions. The most important question was if we could wait until the summer to have the procedure done. We decided it would just be too stressful to try to do it while I was still working, and spring break would be pushing it. Dr. B said it would be fine to wait until summer (it's been 13 months already...what's a couple more?) Basically, Logan doesn't have the cells in his intestine that help him poop. That's why he gets so constipated and strains so much. With the "pull through" surgery, they will literally pull the bad part of his intestine out through his bottom, cut it off, and then reattach it. He will be in the hospital 3-4 days just so they can give him IV antibiotics and make sure the procedure worked. According to the doctor, we should see improvements in his bowel patterns immediately. So, all in all, it doesn't sound too terribly bad. The worst part is actually going to be the 3 months leading up to the surgery. So that his colon is clean and doesn't become enlarged, Olin and I have to give Logan daily suppositories and baby enemas 2 times a week. Does that sound like fun or what? As of tonight, we are 3 suppositories and 1 enema down, about 90 more to go. Ugh.
It was actually pretty comical giving him the first enema tonight. I was quite surprised to find only one package of baby enemas at Walgreens. Somebody else out there must be doing this to their child too. That made me feel a little better. We had no idea what to expect as far as results. We debated....do we hold him out over the toliet, put him in the tub, lay him on a towel? In the end, we laid him on the changing table with a garbage bag underneath him! Needless to say, Logan was not a huge fan of the enema, but it did work, and hopefully it will just get easier and easier as he gets more and more cleaned out. He has to feel better afterwards...poor little guy. So...if you are bored around 7:00, you are more than welcome to come to the Arnold house for a poop party. It will be a daily occurence...kind of like brushing your teeth. You just have to do it! As much as we wish Logan didn't have to have this surgery, hopefully once it's done, he will be good to go!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
All You Need is Love
This might sound obnoxious, and I might come off sounding like "that" mom, but I want to remember all of the little things about Logan right now that make me love him so much. He is changing so quickly that I just want to capture this moment in time.
25 Things I Love About Logan Patrick Arnold...
1. His floppy earlobes...never seen any like em'. We once thought we'd get them pinned back when he
got older- not a chance now. I can't imagine them any differently.
2. His feet...how his toes on the left foot overlap and fight to be on top!
3. His Darth Vader voice in the morning....Luke, I am your father.
4. The way he looks up and grins at me when I go in to get him out of the crib in the morning
5. The way he bounces and dances in your lap, especially if you play reggae music
6. The way he tucks and rolls from front to back...the look of shock and excitement on his face is priceless
7. His dimply butt...Olin wanted to paint it white and make him a golf ball for Halloween : )
8. Those thighs I just want to take a bite out of (possibly the size of a small five year olds!)
9. The way he scratches everything with his thumb first and then the rest of his fingers
10. His dimple when I tickle his chin with my nose
11. The way he shrieks with happiness when the wind blows against his face
12. How hard he tries to do his physical therapy exercises...boy is he worn out after those workouts!
13. When he "holds court" in his highchair and tells me all about his day.
14. The way he fights his naps because he doesn't want to miss any of the action around him
15. No separation anxiety...he lets anyone hold him
16. The way he laughs when Olin throws him in the air at night...from fussy to happy in an instant
17. His constant scissor kicks...he does them anytime he's on his back. Abs of Steel baby!
18. The way he reaches out his arms and opens his mouth for his bottle when he's super hungry
19. The way he furrows his eyebrows at someone new, and then looks for me or Olin to say "that person is okay"
20. His "swoop"...I've tried to get my hair to do that for 15 years and his comes naturally
21. The perfect "swirl" on the back of his head
22. The way he pats his tummy and pulls on his belly rolls while we change his diaper
23. His sneezes...always at least two at a time- we can thank Grumps for that
24. The way he can't wear pants with buttons (well technically he can, but it makes ME uncomfortable to watch him in them!)
25. His unconditional love
This list will forever be a work in progress, but at least I've started it. I guess I was feeling extra lovey after Valentine's Day : )
25 Things I Love About Logan Patrick Arnold...
1. His floppy earlobes...never seen any like em'. We once thought we'd get them pinned back when he
got older- not a chance now. I can't imagine them any differently.
2. His feet...how his toes on the left foot overlap and fight to be on top!
3. His Darth Vader voice in the morning....Luke, I am your father.
4. The way he looks up and grins at me when I go in to get him out of the crib in the morning
5. The way he bounces and dances in your lap, especially if you play reggae music
6. The way he tucks and rolls from front to back...the look of shock and excitement on his face is priceless
7. His dimply butt...Olin wanted to paint it white and make him a golf ball for Halloween : )
8. Those thighs I just want to take a bite out of (possibly the size of a small five year olds!)
9. The way he scratches everything with his thumb first and then the rest of his fingers
10. His dimple when I tickle his chin with my nose
11. The way he shrieks with happiness when the wind blows against his face
12. How hard he tries to do his physical therapy exercises...boy is he worn out after those workouts!
13. When he "holds court" in his highchair and tells me all about his day.
14. The way he fights his naps because he doesn't want to miss any of the action around him
15. No separation anxiety...he lets anyone hold him
16. The way he laughs when Olin throws him in the air at night...from fussy to happy in an instant
17. His constant scissor kicks...he does them anytime he's on his back. Abs of Steel baby!
18. The way he reaches out his arms and opens his mouth for his bottle when he's super hungry
19. The way he furrows his eyebrows at someone new, and then looks for me or Olin to say "that person is okay"
20. His "swoop"...I've tried to get my hair to do that for 15 years and his comes naturally
21. The perfect "swirl" on the back of his head
22. The way he pats his tummy and pulls on his belly rolls while we change his diaper
23. His sneezes...always at least two at a time- we can thank Grumps for that
24. The way he can't wear pants with buttons (well technically he can, but it makes ME uncomfortable to watch him in them!)
25. His unconditional love
This list will forever be a work in progress, but at least I've started it. I guess I was feeling extra lovey after Valentine's Day : )
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Mommies Need Their Mommies Too
What is it about being with your mom that seems to make everything feel like it's going to be alright? (at least temporarily) It's like a mom power or something. When I'm having a really rotten day, all I want is to be twelve again lying on the couch with my mom running her fingers through my hair. Will I ever be too old for this? I hope not. I can picture my mom being like 85 and me being 55 sitting with my head in her lap. Well, luckily we're not that old yet, but we still assumed those roles this weekend when she came to hang out : )
Logan's babysitter was sick on Sunday so my mom was sweet enough to drive up that afternoon and watch Logan the next day. I know she had fun with him, but he can wear you out...especially if he decides that it's a "No Nap" kind of day. We joke that ZuZu has magic dust that she sprinkles over her grandsons when they visit. For whatever reason, Jack, Eddie, and Logan (and mommy) seem to sleep really well at her house. The ZuZu dust wasn't working so well on Monday though. Logan did eventually fall asleep for an hour or so at like 3:00. That can still make for a really long day! Unfortunately, it's been a really long week already...I hate when Monday feels like it should already be Friday (yeah, it's been that kind of week). I guess it's the stress of Logan's biopsy results, work, my Masters course, everything, that has me super emotional this week. I feel like crying over everything Yes, I am crying right now a little and my head is pounding from the earlier waterworks. Olin and I have been disagreeing a lot about things this week. We joked that I can't blog about the one thing I probably need to...him. I might have to get a diary for that : ) Marriage is hard in itself, but then bring aboard a baby, then give that baby special needs...it can make for some stressful times. We are naviagting these new waters as best we can. I just read a good quote though that I thought we should adopt " ‘Don't hack at your boat in a storm." Makes pretty good sense.
Logan's babysitter was sick on Sunday so my mom was sweet enough to drive up that afternoon and watch Logan the next day. I know she had fun with him, but he can wear you out...especially if he decides that it's a "No Nap" kind of day. We joke that ZuZu has magic dust that she sprinkles over her grandsons when they visit. For whatever reason, Jack, Eddie, and Logan (and mommy) seem to sleep really well at her house. The ZuZu dust wasn't working so well on Monday though. Logan did eventually fall asleep for an hour or so at like 3:00. That can still make for a really long day! Unfortunately, it's been a really long week already...I hate when Monday feels like it should already be Friday (yeah, it's been that kind of week). I guess it's the stress of Logan's biopsy results, work, my Masters course, everything, that has me super emotional this week. I feel like crying over everything Yes, I am crying right now a little and my head is pounding from the earlier waterworks. Olin and I have been disagreeing a lot about things this week. We joked that I can't blog about the one thing I probably need to...him. I might have to get a diary for that : ) Marriage is hard in itself, but then bring aboard a baby, then give that baby special needs...it can make for some stressful times. We are naviagting these new waters as best we can. I just read a good quote though that I thought we should adopt " ‘Don't hack at your boat in a storm." Makes pretty good sense.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Super Saturday
I'm feeling really good this Saturday morning...enjoying a cup of coffee while my boys are still sleeping. Yes, Logan finally is sleeping again. We had a few looooonnng nights this week with him being sick. Babies don't sleep well with snotty noses and ear infections. Every time he would start to fall asleep, he's snort and wake himself up. Poor baby. I had kind of forgotten what those all nighter nights are like. It was like having a newborn all over again.
Well, I've got grandiose plans for today. You can see I'm getting right to it...blogging when I need to be unloading the dishwasher, writing thank you notes, grading papers, posting discussions for school, working out, and going grocery shopping : ) My parents (Grumps and ZuZu) are headed up this afternoon to get their Logan fix. Grumps can't go more than a of couple weeks without having withdrawals. I can't wait to show them all the great things Logan is learning in physical therapy now. He had his best session yet on Thursday. I was skeptical with him having been sick and all, but he was so happy and excited the whole time! Our physical therapist is really wonderful. She is pushing him hard and he is responding. She was very impressed with his progress and said his core strength has improved significantly just since the first time she observed him in December. I was such a proud mama that afternoon. I'm always afraid that Logan won't "perform" and our PT will think we're not doing our homework (exercises) with him. On Thursday, I felt like I had gotten an "A" from the teacher. She could tell we had been working hard with him. It's really exciting to see him catch on to things after just a few repetitions. It's like he just needs to be taught and shown, and then he can do it. Logan has what they call "hypogenesis of the corpus callosum." Basically, the part of the brain that sends information back and forth from the right side to the left side isn't fully formed. We found this out from his MRI done in Sept/Oct. Anyways, it makes him have to work so much harder on activities that require both sides of the body to work together.
Logan is getting so much stronger holding himself up on his arms and he's learning to transition from sitting to kneeling. One thing I've realized is how much we all take for granted the fact that we can move. Simple physical movements that we do everyday: getting up and out of bed, going from a sitting to standing position, walking across a room. picking up something to eat just come naturally to us. We don't even think about it. Logan has to/is going to have to work 10x harder to be able to do these things, but I feel really good that he is going to be able to do it in his own time. Patience, patience, patience. I should have that word written on my hand or something, maybe a tattoo, just to remind me that good things come to those who wait : ) Okay, it's 8:30 now and the house is still quiet. This is weird. Two cups of coffe down. I think I'm ready to tackle the day.
Well, I've got grandiose plans for today. You can see I'm getting right to it...blogging when I need to be unloading the dishwasher, writing thank you notes, grading papers, posting discussions for school, working out, and going grocery shopping : ) My parents (Grumps and ZuZu) are headed up this afternoon to get their Logan fix. Grumps can't go more than a of couple weeks without having withdrawals. I can't wait to show them all the great things Logan is learning in physical therapy now. He had his best session yet on Thursday. I was skeptical with him having been sick and all, but he was so happy and excited the whole time! Our physical therapist is really wonderful. She is pushing him hard and he is responding. She was very impressed with his progress and said his core strength has improved significantly just since the first time she observed him in December. I was such a proud mama that afternoon. I'm always afraid that Logan won't "perform" and our PT will think we're not doing our homework (exercises) with him. On Thursday, I felt like I had gotten an "A" from the teacher. She could tell we had been working hard with him. It's really exciting to see him catch on to things after just a few repetitions. It's like he just needs to be taught and shown, and then he can do it. Logan has what they call "hypogenesis of the corpus callosum." Basically, the part of the brain that sends information back and forth from the right side to the left side isn't fully formed. We found this out from his MRI done in Sept/Oct. Anyways, it makes him have to work so much harder on activities that require both sides of the body to work together.
Logan is getting so much stronger holding himself up on his arms and he's learning to transition from sitting to kneeling. One thing I've realized is how much we all take for granted the fact that we can move. Simple physical movements that we do everyday: getting up and out of bed, going from a sitting to standing position, walking across a room. picking up something to eat just come naturally to us. We don't even think about it. Logan has to/is going to have to work 10x harder to be able to do these things, but I feel really good that he is going to be able to do it in his own time. Patience, patience, patience. I should have that word written on my hand or something, maybe a tattoo, just to remind me that good things come to those who wait : ) Okay, it's 8:30 now and the house is still quiet. This is weird. Two cups of coffe down. I think I'm ready to tackle the day.
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