"Somewhere Over The Rainbow"

Does a person really ever outgrow their childhood fears?  I'm going to say "no" based on the feeling I had this afternoon when the tornado sirens started sounding off in our neigborhood.  I know I am the adult now and am supposed to protect my baby, but I have to be honest.  I called home multiple times for reassurance when the pine trees in our backyard looked like they might snap in two! So Logan and I neatly tucked ourselves in the coat closet under the front stairs to wait out the storm  (note to self...that must be cleaned out ASAP).  I was definitely more scared than my little man.  Some things never change...thunderstoms terrified me as a kid.  I can remember thinking that lightning could get me inside the house through the windows.  So at night during storms when the lightning would get bad, I'd crawl to my parent's room on my stomack to make sure the lightning couldn't find me through the window!  I guess I've matured a little past that point, but not much : )   Luckily, the worst of the storms passed north of us and we were able to leave our safe haven in the closet after about 15 minutes.

I've been wanting to figure out how to add music to this blog, and finally I figured it out this afternoon.  So Logan and I had our own little private dance party/concert while I searched for songs that make me think of Logan and our family.  I knew there was this one song that I had to find...the new version of "Somewhere over the Rainbow" sung by a guy with a ukelele.  I've heard the song numerous times...once a a friend's wedding.  She walked down the aisle to it, and I just thought it was beautiful.  So today, I found that song and looked up the lyrics.  At 28, I think the title of the song is still the only words I could actually sing...I don't know any others.  As I listened and read the words, I couldn't hold back the tears.  Some days it's just unstoppable.  I think I "go go go" sometimes, just living in the moment, doing what has to be done.  But every now and then, I think about the past or the future and it makes me kind of sad.  Some things just trigger the emotions.   About six months ago I bought one of those Baby Rock Lullaby cds by the Beatles.  It is a great cd, and I know Olin welcomed it after six months of Lullaby Magic (our first cd).  But there is something about that Beatles cd that I cannot listen to anymore.  Maybe it's because I listened to it a lot after we got Logan's diagnosis...I'm not sure.  Anyways, I guess a good cry is necessary sometimes, and what better day than today with this wet weather. 

"Somewhere over the Rainbow"...gives me goosebumps

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
And the dreams that you dreamed of
Once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow
Blue birds fly
And the dreams that you dreamed of
Dreams really do come true ooh ooooh
Someday I'll wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney tops thats where you'll find me oh
Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly
And the dream that you dare to,why, oh why can't I?

Well I see trees of green and
Red roses too,
I'll watch them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Well I see skies of blue and I see clouds of white
And the brightness of day
I like the dark and I think to myself
What a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people passing by
I see friends shaking hands
Saying, "How do you do?"
They're really saying, I...I love you
I hear babies cry and I watch them grow,
They'll learn much more
Than we'll know
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Someday I'll wish upon a star,
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney top that's where you'll find me
Oh, Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
And the dream that you dare to, why, oh why can't I?